Joining a band can be quite an exciting experience. You get to share your passion for music in front of an audience of fans. You get to pool together your talent and the talent of various other talented musicians in order to orchestrate a song – a collaborative artistic effort, working in unison to craft a song. And without a doubt, earning a living by performing in a band can sure beat the drudgery of having to work a typical 9 to 5 job in an office cubicle somewhere or in some retail establishment, taking orders that are barked to you by an unreasonable and tyrannical boss.
But you know what would be even more exciting than performing in a live band? Going on tour and traveling with a band! The prospect of being able to travel from city to city or from country to country in order to perform in front of an ever-growing population of loyal fans in diverse locales can be an extremely uplifting motivator, boosting your and your band’s morale. It can be extremely exciting to be able to tour different cities. You can go sightseeing and exploring during your downtime in between performances while you are stationed at each performance location.
But there is one drawback to the whole experience of traveling on tour with your band: the possibility of having to leave your significant other behind while you are gone. If your band goes on a tour that requires you to travel away from home, on the road for several weeks or months at a time, then it can be put quite a strain on your relationship. Whether you are married or you are in a committed non-marital relationship with a significant other, it can be quite painful and difficult to have to part with your beloved for so long. While the exhilaration of being in front of the cameras on stage can give you quite a rush and boost your self-esteem, doing so while being separated from your other half can leave you with a feeling of emptiness and loneliness as well.
After all, every relationship requires you to be present and available to interact with your partner, participate in activities with your partner, share in responsibilities with your partner, experience life together, be there for each other not only emotionally and mentally, but also physically as well. Plus there is the whole physical aspect of the relationship. Being away from your partner also means having to cope with not being able to share intimacy with one another as well.
So the question arises as to how to cope with being away your significant other for so long while on tour? How do you keep your relationship strong? How can you engage in TLC (tender loving care) to keep your relationship alive during this time of separation? Obviously if you love music, then it requires quite a bit of sacrifice and commitment to be able, ready, and willing to join a transit band. But then again, you might be in a situation where due to economic reasons you have no choice to join a band that requires travel, whereas you might have otherwise preferred to find a gig that enables you to perform locally in your own hometown.
Long distance relationships in general require a great deal of care and nurturing in order to sustain than a relationship in which both partners are together. One key ingredient to the success of a long distance relationship in which one of the partners is away on tour with a transit band is for the partner staying at home to be supportive of the one who is traveling. The musician who travels needs the support of the partner who remains behind. He or she must be supportive of their dream and their ambition and must realize that while their relationship is important, it is important to let them pursue their ambition, as it will benefit the couple in the long term, financially as well as emotionally. The reward of having the traveling partner come home from the tour will have been well worth the wait.
Now, if it were possible for the musician’s partner to travel with the band, that would be solution. This works well if the musician’s partner is unemployed, isn’t currently in school, and has no other commitments to tie him or her down. But that is not always practical. Perhaps it may be possible to travel with the band once in awhile, and turn the tour into a semi-vacation, so that the couple can be together during the band’s travels. But it’s not always practical or even cost-effective for that to be the case.
So if you inevitably have to cope with a situation where one of the partners must travel with a band, what are some ways to keep the relationship strong during the interim?
Perhaps the single most important ingredient is for both partners to maintain frequent and open communication with one another. Call each other or use a video chat program such as Skype to keep in touch with each other at least once a day, every day. Talk about how your day was. And be frank and candid about your feelings. Reaffirm your love for one another. Show your support and concern for one another.
If you can afford to, you can do little things here and there to keep the romance fresh, spontaneous, and alive even while apart: You can ship gifts to each other. You can send each other flower. You can send each other love letters (or email them).
One extremely important ingredient in a long distance relationship when one of the partners is in a transit band on tour away from home for extended periods of time is trust. It is easy for long distance partners to fall into suspicion and distrust. But it is extremely important that neither partner be insecure.
Along the subject of trust, it is imperative that both partners do whatever it takes to ensure that they do not betray that trust. Being in a relationship with an absent partner can no doubt lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness, potentially leaving either of them to be vulnerable to the temptation to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
When traveling on the band, it is absolutely imperative that you do not flirt or fraternize with your fans of the opposite sex and to limit your social interaction with opposite-sex band members as well. Don’t let your fame get to your head.
Traveling with a transit band can be an exciting opportunity for your music career. If you are in a situation where you have to be away from home for weeks or months at a time, leaving a significant other behind, then it is important that you take the steps to sustain your relationship and keep your relationship strong.